Bitch Post #11: My Chest Is Heavy Enough..

It's time to get some things off of it. Some of my Facebook Fans have already gotten an earful, but I thought I'd share with the general population:) In no particular order:

1. You can only truly call it Castile soap if you only use olive and no other oils and/or butters!
2. Soap makers who list a soap and only show the soap in its packaging. Where's the friggin soap?!
3. Sellers who tell you that they'll leave you positive feedback if and only if you leave them positive feedback first. WTF??
4. Entrecard droppers who don't drop back. It's common courtesy like saying "Hello" back to someone who says "Hello" to you.
   
5. People who contact me about wholesaling my stuff, we work out the terms, I send them the bill, and then I never hear from them again (It's happened to me more than once in the last 6 months!)
6. People who adopt, buy, or are given pets only to turn around and dump them after they realize that pets are like children-they need love, attention, medical care, etc. This really burns me up!
   
7. When someone stops following my blog. It hurts a little. It's like saying, "Ugh, I don't like you anymore..." Yes, I do have a sensitive side, LOL.
   

I'm done bitching for now. I have lots more to say, but I'll save it for another post...

Bitch Post #10: Amazon Payments SUCK!

Ahh yes, people, it's time for another bitch post! We're up to number 10, and I am hotter than a bitch in heat! For those of you who are not familiar with 1000 Markets, they only allow payments to be processed through Amazon Payments. That's wonderful for seasoned sellers who've racked up hundreds of sales via Amazon Payments, but if you're like me and have only had a handful, then they literally hold your money hostage for an indefinite period of time. It's their way of safeguarding the buyer. But where does that leave us sellers? The buyer pays, the transaction clears, but Amazon says "We don't really trust you yet, so we're going to use your money as collateral in case the buyer makes a claim against you..."

If I'm reading this wrong, please enlighten me. I've had 3 sales in the last week on 1000 Markets which is like hitting pay dirt in my book because my last sale there was in July! I don't have time to apply for some Tier II merchant level in an effort to have my money released quicker. I have NEVER had a problem on PayPal. The buyer makes a purchase. They pay through PayPal. The transaction clears. I gets my scrilla, and I ship the goods! We're on week 2, and I do not have my money! Meanwhile, in an effort of good faith and good customer service, I've shipped the buyers' goods. After all, they've paid, so why should they be penalized? I'm just sayin....I WANTS MY MONEY!!!!!

EPILOGUE: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I GUESS IF YOU THROW A PUBLIC HISSY FIT, YOU CAN GET WHAT YOU WANT:)

After contacting Amazon Payments and yes, applying for Tier II status, it was granted. Yay! I'm taking the money and running! Maybe now I'll promote my 1KM shop a little more:)

Bitch Post #9: Yes, Packaging Counts!

Picture this: You order something really beautiful and rather expensive (for the sake of argument, I consider anything handmade expensive compared to store-bought), and you're anxiously awaiting its arrival in the mail. The day finally comes, and you rip open the box, and you quickly deflate like busted balloon. Your stuff is wrapped in newspaper! This has happened to me more than once. I'm not expecting fancy gift wrap, but please don't wrap my treasures in newspaper! Ugh!! I cannot tell you what a turnoff that is. You can go to the dollar store and buy tissue paper in a multitude of colors and hook it up! I've been doing that lately, and my customers love it! I use my signature colors-hot pink and black with coordinating ribbon, and it makes such a statement without braking the bank.

So today's lesson: NO NEWSPAPER! Save your packing peanuts and bubble wrap from your own purchases to reuse for your shipments. Get thee to Family Dollar or Dollar Tree or Five Below or whatever your local dollar store may be, and stock up on tissue paper. Okay, I'm done. For now.....

Bitch Post #8: Non-Paying and Shady Buyers!

I haven't done one of these in a long while, and oh, my friends, I’ve been stewing like that bunny in Fatal Attraction-just ready to boil over! I’ve been having a steady number of sales on Etsy in the last couple of weeks, but nothing burns me more than a non-paying buyer! It even says in the final checkout…”You are committing to buy”-as in PAY! I’ve been burned twice in the last month!

The first incident wasn’t a non-paying buyer, but my spidey instincts started tingling and told me that something was fishy. This buyer had a really low feedback rating because of non-payment. She did not pay me initially when the transaction was completed, but after we traded a couple of convoes, she paid me. Red flag #1: She stated she was located in the US when she was actually in Canada-so I ate the costs of the extra shipping which wasn’t a whole lot, but it was misleading and dishonest! Red flag #2: She then sweetly hassled me about giving her positive feedback because she received negative feedback from a very reputable Etsy seller due to non-payment. I mailed her package on a Saturday. A week later, I get a convo from her that she still had not received the package. I explained it was mailed via USPS and provided her with a tracking #. To wrap up this horror story, I ended up refunding her the full purchase price and cancelling the sale. She may truly not have received that package because USPS still says the package was “accepted” for mailing, but there is no delivery confirmation or otherwise. I’ve never had a problem shipping a package to Canada until this incident. I don’t get it!

The second incident was a brand new buyer to Etsy. He joined the same day that he bought a soap from me. He didn’t pay. I figured it was because he was new and may have been confused about how things operated. So I convoed him to thank him for his purchase and explained that I would promptly ship his soap once payment was received. Three days passed and nothing, so I ended up cancelling that sale too!

So now I’m nervous after every sale. I never give feedback to a buyer until I receive payment, but now I’m wondering if I’m jumping the gun. I don’t like to hold feedback hostage, but should I wait until I receive feedback before I give feedback? Also, should I give negative feedback to a non-paying buyer then cancel the sale, or should I just cancel the sale and be done with it? I’ve never had this happen to me before. I’ve always read about it, but I’ve never been a victim til now. I’m beyond pissed….ARGHHHHH!

Bitch Post #7: Handmade Soap Is Too Expensive And Other Misconceptions

Well that can pretty much be said about anything that's handmade: It's too expensive. I can get that for much less. But what are you comparing it too? Wal-Mart or Nordstrom? Hell, Goodwill can look too expensive compared to Wal-Mart, but the point I'm making is that just because it has the "handmade" tag attached to it does not automatically mean it should be inexpensive! In fact, anything that's made from scratch with human hands made with the utmost precision, and dare I say-love, should cost more than the factory-made, mass-produced version. Handmade artists have to eat just like the factory worker does.

Getting back to the handmade soap is too expensive: I was compelled to write this post following a heated discussion in the Artfire forums this week. The basis of the "discussion" was "handmade soap is too expensive when I can buy a multi-pack of soap for the price of one bar that soapmakers are selling here." I maintained my cool as I wanted to see how this would play out. Needless to say, the lady who started the thread got ripped along with anyone who co-signed with her. I love my fellow soapmakers because they came in and set 'em straight, boy! I have to really shout out Pegasus Soaps and Soapsmith who were very polite but firm in their defense of why handmade soap costs what it does. I especially love what Pegasus said about the ingredients to make soap aren't cheap-and they aren't! Olive oil is very expensive. Shea butter is twice as expensive. For a good soapmaker, it's about quality-not quantity. I could sell you a bunch of handmade soap made with primarily lard or soybean oil which are relatively inexpensive compared to olive oil and shea butter, but one: I only make vegan soaps, and two: I care about what I put into my product. Like Soapsmith stressed, we soapmakers don't make a lot of money doing this. We do it for love of soapmaking. To make a profit, you'd have to sell a lot of soap-like having wholesale clients or maybe sell only melt and pour like a lot of successful Etsy sellers do. Melt and pour soap is inexpensive relative to buying raw ingredients to make soap. And let's not forget those soap disasters when a batch doesn't come out right-and I mean, completely tanked, unusable soap.


To wrap this all up, handmade soap is the best soap for your skin bar none (pun intended). It's made with oils and butters that moisturize and nourish. It makes it's only natural glycerin-which by the way those commercial detergent bars remove so that the "soap" stays hard and lasts longer. They're unique and they are affordable in that for every detergent bar you buy, you'll need twice as much moisturizer or lotion to combat the dryness your skin will suffer. But, if it comes down to having train fare or buying a bar of handmade soap, by all means, buy that fare card and the dollar "soap"! I know times are hard....


I'd love to read your take on the matter. Oh, by the way, a very nice lady from that same forum purchased some soap from me to send anonymously to one of the nay-sayers. Hopefully, we'll make a convert out of her!

Bitch Post #6: Sellers Who Don't Thank Their Customers

You know I'm long overdue for one of these posts:-D

Nothing irks me more than a seller who does not take the time to thank his or her buyer for their time and their money! I think it's rude, unprofessional, and a repeat buyer killer! I work hard for my money, and I don't spend it on something "extra" unless I am so in love with it that I have to have it! Case in point: I made two purchases last week on both Etsy and 1000 Markets, and neither seller contacted me with a simple "Thank You," "I received your order," "Kiss my butt..."-NOTHING!!! You didn't have a problem taking my money, yet you couldn't take the time to drop me a line? These sellers have lost my business forever (and that's a mighty long time.) If you're guilty of not contacting your client after they buy something from your shop, I implore you to start doing so. All it takes is two words: Thank You. You could lose lots of money without even realizing it!

Bitch Post #5: Use Spell Check People!!!

I'm so disgusted, I'm about to explode!!! I was on Art Fire (when am I not on Art Fire?) reading the forums when I constantly came across threads with blatant misspellings. Maybe they weren't so blatant to the authors, but this just burns me up! Grown-ass people who can't spell or take the time to proof their thoughts before hitting the send button need to not even bother writing. The sad thing is there's a built-in spell-checker in the box! I won't even talk about listings with multiple misspellings. I will immediately leave your shop. I'll give grammatical errors a pass because I'm guilty of them myself sometimes. But I do make a point to read my stuff before listing or posting. If you ever find a misspelling in one of my product listings, please let me know!!!

Okay, I'm getting off my soapbox. My blood pressure has already gone down 10 points just by posting this. Have a good Saturday (what's left of it anyway!)

Bitch Post #4: You Get Out Of It What You Put Into It!

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know that I am very keen on ArtFire. I think they should put me on the payroll (that's another post). I am a regular reader of the forums over there, and every day, there is at least one post from someone lamenting about having "0" sales. Trust me, I've been there. I don't have hundreds or thousands of sales, but I don't whine about it. I'm hustling every single day. I'm actively blogging. I'm constantly listing new products. I'm following blogs that I love. I comment on those blogs. I participate in giveaways. I host giveaways. I spotlight other artisans. I buy from other artisans. This is business folks! You can't just sit back and wait for the sales to come no matter how great your product is! I'm discouraged all the time. I bust my hump, but I keep my chin up and stay positive. We're living in a rotten economy right now coupled with a typically slow sales period. There will be some setbacks and some slow periods, but the key is to keep at it.

Do you have a blog? If not, get one and post something meaningful or insightful at least 2-3 times a week. Follow some popular blogs and actively read and comment on them. You'll pick up readers and followers for your blog thus bringing more exposure to your shop and your product. Participate in or sponsor a giveaway. People love, love, love (did I say love?) free stuff! Do you sample with every purchase made from your shop? If not, try it-especially if you have a new product launching or if you have a slow moving product that you want people to try out. Oh yeah, you must advertise! That's a must. Project Wonderful is a very inexpensive way to get your shop seen. Participate in sample boxes. These are just a few tips, but you get the point.

Okay, I'm jumping off my soap box. I just get a little frustrated sometimes by all the whining and complaining I read. In closing, don't speak about it, be about it!

Bitch Post #3: If You Want Me To Buy It, Take A Pretty Picture!

I know I am going to catch hell for this post, but I can't take it any longer! I have to get this off of my chest! I am a lover of most (I cannot say "all" in all honesty) things handmade. One of my biggest pet peeves of a handmade artist is the crappy pictures I see of their blood, sweat, and tears. I am no photographer by a long shot, but it pains me to see a potentially great product with really bad photos. When I say bad, I mean blurry, unfocused, and ill-lit. As online merchants, we must take every measure to ensure that our product is attractive, marketable, and sellable. This means that you can use the best materials available, but if it does not come across in your pictures, how can you expect one to want to buy it?

So, what's your advice, Miss Know-It-All? My first piece of advice is to take a chill pill and not get offended:-D. My second piece of advice is to read your camera manual (using the macro feature and not using the flash on your camera) and invest in a light box. They can be made for pennies or you can buy this one like I did. I can honestly say that my sales have greatly increased as a result. My third piece of advice is to take many pictures at various angles. I usually take up to 20 pictures for one item. Of that 20, about 12 are good. I also use a photo editor like Picasa (I'm too broke for Photoshop). Picasa can be downloaded for free here. Handmadeology has a great section called Photography 101. It is well worth the read!

So, there, I said it. I feel so much lighter. I'm jumping off my light box, and I'm going to practice what I preach!

Bitch Post #2-UPS Is On My Sh*t List!

(THIS IS MY OFFICIAL PHOTO FOR ALL MY BITCH POSTS-YOU'LL BE SEEING THIS ONE A LOT!!!!)

Before, I reveal why UPS is on my sh*tlist, I must give you the backdrop to this story: I haven't told anyone this til now, but I am going thru a serious soaping withdrawal. I need a fix bad!!! I haven't made any CP soap since November, and I'm about to set it off!

First of all, my trusty, local hardware store unexpectedly, I mean literally overnight, goes out of business (this economy is killing the small biz owner) so I have no means of buying my lye locally. None of the major hardware chains carry it. I went to Home Depot and asked, "Do you carry lye?" and the dude looks at me like I'm speaking Swahili. He literally said, "Huh?" I was dumbfounded. I had to actually break it down for him: "You know-sodium hydroxide, the stuff used to open up clogged drains and whatnot...." "Oh, then you'd want to look in the plumbing aisle." "Gee, thanks (for nuthin, ass hat.)" Needless to say, I found no lye, so I was left with one choice: Order it online and go thru all the hazmat bull crap (Thanks a lot you scumbag meth mongers!)

So to wrap up this tale of woe, I found a great deal on Etsy from Tog Soap Molds. I got 8 pounds for $22.00 which is like a bargain because I was paying $5.00 for a 16 oz bottle at Mom & Pop's. Anyway, they shipped the goods the next day, and I got confirmation that my stuff would arrive on 1/16/09-this past Friday. I'm having this delivered to my job because there's no one at home to sign for the package. Anyway, the day is half over when I realize that my package aint there, so I go online, and I see that my shipment has been re-scheduled for the 19th!!! WTF!!?? I am livid. I don't have time to fool with UPS because I'm working-otherwise, I would have called and acted a f*ckin' fool! It's not ladylike, and I don't recommend it, but it's very effective when you need to make things happen. Anyway, I can't have the package re-routed to my home because I'm not the original sender and only they can do that. The damn package was attempted delivery to my job today: MLK Day. A holiday. No one's there. The building is closed. I don't have my friggin lye, therefore, I cannot make any soap. Therefore, I majorly pissed. Therefore, UPS is on my SHIT LIST!!!!

Bitch Post #1: Listing and Re-Listing

I may have mentioned this before, but if not, I'm making it official: I AM LAZY!!!! I don't like to do stuff-especially when it's tedious and time-consuming. Where am I going with this? I'm referring to listing and re-listing your stuff on your craft venue of choice. I guess it would be easy to make a template with everything and simply copy and paste it when you're ready to list, but that would be too much like right, right? Why don't these venues offer it as an automatic feature? They sure would make a hell of a lot more money off of me if they did. That's why my shops often fall by the wayside, and that's why I'm doing myself a disservice. So all in all, I guess I'm more pissed with myself for being lazy than with Etsy or Art Fire for not offering a template, but they should!!! I'm sure I'm not the only other lazy ass out here.....

(p.s.-I'm turning into Oprah. I'm splattering my face all over this blog!)