WTF????

(Pardon the flash-you don't need to see that part anyway!)

It's Monday, and I need a stiff drink! I was on a little vay-cay all last week, and I swear it aint worth it sometimes! I get back, and NONE of my work was even attempted to be completed. So much for teamwork (another day, a much longer post...)

We're having this major Halloween party at work, and everyone is expected to dress up in some type of buffoonery. Yay for making a total jackass of myself! Not to be outdone, I head on over to Target to pick up a little costumery, and there's nothing there that tickles my fancy. Being the crafty chick that I am, I decide to buy this little makeup kit. I'll do something with it. Goth girl? Gene Simmons? Draculina? The possibilities are endless. I spend ten bucks for the thing-no big deal. But...I get home and really read the packaging, and there's this warning sign:

"This product contains lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm."

HOLY SHIT!!!! I'm gonna birth defective babies if I wear this stuff??? Oh, wait. I live in the state of Maryland, so I'm safe! WHEW!!!! Seriously, why would you market a product to people knowing it contains lead and can cause birth defects? Is it me, or are the makers of this crap on meth?

WTF????

I try to keep my posts as "family friendly" as possible, but some crazy shyte happened to this soap, and I need some answers. I used what I thought was a really basic recipe-pomace olive oil, fractionated coconut oil, and Castor oil. It's a very small batch-only 32 oz total. When I added my lye solutions to the water, it almost immediately traced. I whizzed for about 30 seconds and my soap was the consistency of cake batter. It was really thick! Then it had these little white particles all throughout (lye, perhaps?) I proceeded anyway, and added about 2 oz of Pear Glace FO that I bought from Wholesale Supplies Plus. After I added the FO, the "batter" was basically set. I had to literally scrape it out of my bowl into my mold.

When I un-molded it today, it was rock-hard. When I cut the first slice, it literally crumbled as you can see in this pic. Can anyone tell me where did I go wrong, and is this soap salvageable?