I'm Officially A Lard Ass!

Yeah, I said it: LARD ASS! This has nothing to do with my weight (although this could be argued, but then I'd have to kill you..heehee). Remember that scene from the movie Stand By Me where River Phoenix's character is telling the story about Lard Ass exacting his revenge on the townspeople for making fun of his weight? I loved that story! Anyway, I'm referring to my first batch of soap made with lard-you know-the thick, white stuff that's used in some good ole southern-style meals. No? Okay, pig fat! Here's the inspiration for this soap:

The other day I received a very interesting and thought-provoking comment from a reader who wanted to know why soap makers tout their soaps as "vegan," or "vegan-friendly," and why soap makers who use goat's milk, lard, or tallow are viewed as the anti-Christ. Okay, I'm exaggerating her comment slightly, but her point was good soap can be made with animal products. That got me to thinking....I don't use animal products in my soaps-not because I'm vegan (farthest from it), but because I never had an interest or desire to make soaps with animal milk or fat. I have probably 8 oz of powdered goat's milk just sitting collecting dust. I just didn't know how to incorporate it into my soaps. I've read that they make creamy, wonderful lather. But the one thing that really got me going was lard. The name alone gives me the willies. I keep seeing that old coffee can filled with greasy, pork-chop-scented fat on my grandmother's stove. But, I had to give it a try. I went to the Safeway to buy a bottle of olive oil to use for a couple of batches of soap, and decided to see if by chance there'd be any lard for sale. I was really surprised when I found it sitting right next to the Scrapple (loves that stuff! Do you know what's in scrapple? No? The name implies it all! You haven't had good eatin' til you've had a scrapple and fried egg sandwich!). It was packaged in a non-descript white tub. It retails 16 oz for like $1.50. I couldn't wait to open it up, and when I did....EWWWW! Are you kidding me? It smelled like week-old fatback! I forget it is pig fat so it's not going to smell like a smothered pork chop, but I was just taken aback.



This is really a test batch (if it cures well and smells nice, then I'll sell it.) I made this with lard, rice bran, and palm kernel oil. It's scented in Almond, and I sprinkled a bunch of calendula leaves on top for "garnish." This almond is really strong. I like it though. I've never used it before, and I'm quite pleased with it. I think I'll blend it next time though because it's a little too sweet for my person taste. So, what do you think of my Lard Ass Soap?